I'm still using this title (Artist's Statement), but I think it seems pretentious as it probably makes it seem as if I'm trying to appear to be an "important artist." I still haven't thought of a title that is more appropriate, and it has to have a title so a person might get an idea of what it's about, so here I am still calling it an "artist's statement."

I am not sure that I am an artist at all. I have always thought so, until recently when it occurred to me that I was probably wrong. I have thought I was an artist simply because all my life I've been interested in art and have always drawn pictures and have studied art, in school and out. I love to draw, and I love to learn about art, particularly composition. Art is the most important thing in my life, and I can't imagine life without drawing and studying and just simply enjoying pictures and other kinds of art. Anything that has been designed is of interest to me, whether I personally "like" it or not (though I prefer to look at or otherwise experience the best of the best rather than poorly thought out and made artwork). I want to know why things are designed in such and such a way and what an effect the design has on the user or observer of whatever it is. And so on. But am I an artist? I don't really think so. I think I am fascinated by art, and by drawing, but that doesn't make me an artist. I do hope still (I say "still" because I am not young) to learn enough so that I can design a picture well before I die (maybe I'll be an "artist" on that day), but meantime I will just do my best, and be pleased if I make progress, and share (on the web) some pictures I make with people who might enjoy seeing them. Eventually I hope to be able to make some pictures that can be handed down in my family, if anyone in the family wishes to hold onto them and leave them to someone in a younger generation who would be interested. I'll provide the pictures, and they can do what they want with them -- I won't be able to do anything about it. But if someone wants to see what a family member was interested in, what seemed meaningful to them, what they admired, and what they have thought about life, I hope they'll see it in my pictures (as well as in whatever I've written that might be saved). It's nice to be able to share one's ideas about life with someone else.

So, the purpose of drawing to me is not to make money. I draw because I enjoy doing it and because I want to make pictures of things that I'm thinking about, and to try to communicate in the pictures what my thoughts are about the subject. I still have much to learn before I can do this well. So far for the most part I have only drawn what it pleases me to draw, in a way that makes it look like I want it to look - to the best of my ability. I'll always be learning to do better.

I do not draw well when I draw for others - I need to draw what I need to draw, in the time it takes.

Sometimes I think about how it must seem absurd to some others that I'm working so hard at something that is apparently not leading toward anything except producing more and more drawings, and that I'm not that terrifically good at -- while at the same time not doing things that most people do - shopping for pleasure, going to movies, watching TV, socializing, etc. In fact those kinds of things are not of interest to me at all - save for the movies, come to think of it; I'd like sometime to be able to see some really interesting movies now and then, in a quiet place (here at the computer sounds good to me) . You can call me nuts if you like, but I believe that I'm more contented with my life than most people are.

I want to mention that although getting older gives me some anxiety (because of a feeling of time pressure), it also brings with it more experiences, more reading, more exchanges of ideas and thoughts with the people I correspond with, and more thinking ... I'm always thinking; I often wake up in the night with new ideas or an "aha!" realization (usually after reading something that didn't really soak in until I'd had a little sleep) - and often more understanding of some aspect(s) of human behavior or perception - and so every day there is more of "me" and there are new or reconsidered and subtly changed ideas about a subject to express in my artwork, new ways of looking at things, new ideas/realizations about how things are perceived, and new ways of approaching and executing my drawings. It seems to me that every day, therefore, I am at least capable of feeling - and being - yet more enriched by what I've read and seen and drawn and thought about, and usually this happens. I don't mind that I'm not an artist. I enjoy what I do, no matter what I'm called.